As of late it seems as though our great cultural struggle is a matter of our own identity as individuals. As time goes forward humanity has consistently divided itself into smaller and smaller subsets; first it was species, Cro-Magnons vs Neanderthals; then race (I'll forgo any specific example for fear of derailing the theme of my blog), then tribes, then nations, states, cities neighborhoods, ideas, sexual preference, etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseaum, ad infinitum. My point is that humanity has consistently and constantly divided itself throughout its existence, but where can it end? Everything breaks down to a base level ultimately; just like the Greek philosopher Democritus posited, if you cut a loaf of bread into smaller and smaller pieces, you will eventually in time encounter a piece that will be uncuttable and the ultimate base unit of 'breadness', thus the birth of the idea of the atom, the fundamental building block of all things. Now for those of you who want to bring up quarks and string theory and then call me stupid, I humbly bask in the radiant light of your intellectual superiority. So now that's out of the way, please go back to being smarter than I am and dedicate all you efforts toward building a Time Machine, I promise you that I will be the first in line to buy one so I can travel back in time so as to locate your pregnant mother and deliver a swift and righteous kick to her stomach so as to eradicate your existence. An for anyone even thinks to bring up the whole loop of time idea and that my eliminating the creator of the time machine would prevent me from ever traveling back in time, you're missing the point: Which is "Please Shut Up and Kill Yourself".
Now I know that my ramblings sound like that of a mental patient after five belts of Scotch, but stay with me you little pumpkins and eventually my patchwork quilt of Shakespearean prose will make sense and you will understand the perspective from which I rant. Where was I? I'm pretty sure I have a point to make....
Oh Yes!! (many a lady has thought that of me by the way); the point that I was trying to make before my crazy Norman Bates tirade was that we are a culture that has consistently divided itself and it seems that we've finally arrived at a point where certain sub groups have become desirable and the existing members have launched their own internal witch hunt to keep the group pure, clean, and devoid of the influence of anyone who might stray from the established doctrine. Case in point - Nerds; somehow a group that was once pariah has become prime social real estate and a position that was once equivalent to exile has now become a gated community reserved only for those who have paid their way. But as Hollywood has taught us (and yes I did just begin a sentence with the word 'but', but that was the only way possible), even a fool with the right arsenal can vault the fences and plant their flag in lands once unattainable; in other words we now live in an age where someone who has no characteristics of Nerdness can suddenly don on some thick framed glasses, or a button up shirt, play video games, and God forbid.... engage in some sultry cosplay action and BAM! they're a nerd.
This site is a collaborative effort between myself (obviously) and my friend Vindi Birch to discuss, explore, and discover, word of Nerdish things. The reason for this is that I identify myself as pretty nerdy, but my counterpart Vindi is far more into all things Nerd and thus has figuratively shown up many a time outside my residence in the middle of the night with a torch, a hangman's noose, and the ominous message of "get the fuck out of Nerd-Town". Well maybe not to that extent, but the point is that I think I'm a nerd, and she doesn't. So I asked the question "What makes a nerd?" And that, you little muffins, is what this is all about, because I have no goddamn idea as to what makes a nerd a nerd. Vindi, has already identified three traits, but each one can be countered, just like in swordplay for every thrust there is a parry, and thus the invincible warrior is vulnerable for there is a chink (not being racist) in every suit of armor.
Unlike my pal Vindi, I cannot lay out an itemized grocery list of nerd traits. I really don't fit into any of the traditional Nerd traits, but I'm pretty sure nobody really fits them to a T - and where did that phrase come from? Yet the question is still deafening: "What makes you a Nerd?" These days, you can adopt a few accessories, or proclaim an interest in something and you've got a guest pass into Nerdville, and the residents of Nerville will be quick to enact proceedings to have you removed. I know for a fact that if I said "I'm a nerd" in the presence of another friend, I would suffer a napalm-like barrage of verbal nerd fury, which would only to be countered with a quick punch to the throat which is a very non-nerd response. That being said however, I can still address Vindi's points from my own perspective; wow, after all that rant I finally get to talking about the stuff this site is all about. Talk about an intro....
And now I shall address Vindi's points from the position of Shelby's Couch of Awesomeness:
1) Intellect - Confucious says "To know that you do not know is the best", but a reliance upon intelligence alone is arrogance on a level without equivalent. You can be smart, but without the combination of intelligence and philosophy is a crime capable of mechanized horror beyond measure. I was never really good in school, I was essentially average, but like Teddy Rooselvelt said "The C students rule the world" and that guy was a badass. Still, smarts is a valid trait of being a nerd, much like glasses for some reason... I would argue that smarts became a trait of Nerdness due mainly to the fact that those who indulge in intellectual pursuits tend to rely upon those in order to compensate for other flaws, but also a tendency to glom onto things that one is passionate about. Thus I agree with Vindi.
2) Physical Appearance - This one pisses me off. It basically confines people to certain groups solely based on what they look like, granted, I will give you that I don't think Ann Hathaway is a nerd because she likes Scrabble or Natalie Portman is a nerd because she went to Harvard, or that cosplay girls are not nerds just because they are smoking hot - Jessica Nigri, Francesca Dani, I'm talking to you, you're nerds and you're both perfect in every way..... The same goes for you Kari Byron (I can't believe she's that hot AND 38). Where was I? Yes, appearance as a trait of nerdness, I suppose my resistance to this originates from my hatred of Hipsters, case and point, I can't wear plaid anymore because of hipsters. Anyway... As your mother taught you, "Don't judge a book by it's cover". Anyway I could beat this dead horse some more but I've got laundry to do and another point to address.
3) Fanboy Cutlure/Obsession/Nerd Cred - I would say that this is the ultimate mark of a nerd, but where is the boundary of that obsession? I for one, am a nerd about gun stuff to a degree, I also love theoretical physics while sporting a healthy hatred for math. I just love science stuff from a recreational perspective, not because it makes awesome fodder for drunk/stoner talk but it gives you perspective on the world we live in. I'm a fan of many things that most Nerds would say "that's not Nerd", and yet again, the question of "what is a nerd?" rises again. For example a ton of book nerds are fans of writers like Hemingway, Chuck Pahlaniuk, Jack Kerouac (who totally looks like Will Arrnet), J.D. Sallinger, Ayn Rand, and I for one love Tom Robbins and NONE of those guys fit the bill for 'Nerd'.
All of the above ramblings and nonsensical arrangements of letters to form otherwise incoherent sentences that make up ideas that don't make any sense whatsoever are focused on one central theme.
So I ask you all: "What the fuck is a Nerd?"
